Save your marriage with a hate crime
November 4, 2011
There’s dumb and then there’s dumb. You know what I mean: some people are so dumb they take dumbosity to an almost supernatural level.
Like LB Williams, for example, whose mother apparently ran dry trying to imagine an appropriate name for him when he was born so she assigned him two letters instead. Maybe the “LB” stands for something, like “Little Brain” or “Lightly Baked.” I don’t know, those are just guesses.
LB earned our attention—and our disrespect—because he is a black man who built himself a wooden cross and set it afire in his own Florida driveway, KKK style, before calling police to report a hate crime. His wife, who is white, and his daughter and grandchild were all terrified. “When I saw that cross burning, I was scared to death,” said the wife, Donna Williams.
The police were a little puzzled by the KKK’s unusual thoughtfulness and consideration in burning the cross out in the driveway where it wouldn’t hurt the grass or catch the house on fire but they dutifully started investigating the incident as a hate crime.
Then, two days later, apparently delighted with the effect of the cross burning, LB left a note, ostensibly from the KKK, taped to their door. That’s where things went wrong for LB because right away Donna noticed a couple things. Number one, the KKK note said she “better not leave that nigger,” which didn’t make sense because the KKK is infamous for being against interracial marriages. And number two, probably more importantly, she noticed the doggone thing was in her husband’s handwriting.
Oops and double oops. Seems Donna had informed LB that she wanted a divorce and he was so aghast he conceived the brilliant idea of scaring her into staying.
Yeah, I know, the whole thing doesn’t make sense. In addition to the stupidity of the note, stupid in two different ways, there is the faulty logic. How does a KKK cross burning save the marriage? Did he think Donna would say to herself, “Gee, now that I see LB in the flickering light of a burning cross, I see how fearsomely handsome he is so I won’t divorce him”?
Donna called the police again but this time on her husband, who was arrested and charged with two felonies: domestic violence stalking and exhibits that intimidate. He soon confessed to concocting the bogus hate crime to save his marriage. Which he didn’t, by the way.
Sources:
11/16/11 - Huffington Post - LB Williams, Black Florida Man, Burns Cross In Own Driveway, Is Arrested
11/16/11 - Scott.net - Man charged with burning cross in driveway
11/16/11 - BelchSpeak - Hate Crimin’ the Missus
11/18/11 - Madame Noire - Black Man Burns Cross in Driveway to Scare White Wife Into Staying With Him
Posted from Rockford, Michigan, USA
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