Sometimes you have to wonder if anybody has a working brain on some of these college campuses.  Not only do they have more than their share of bogus hate crimes, they are monumentally stupid about recognizing them.

In fact, watching intellectuals deal with a hate crime report is funnier than watching Henry Gates pretend he likes beer.

On April 5, 2011, University of North Carolina student Quinn Matney reported to campus police that one day earlier he was attacked because he was gay.  Of course.  Why else?  Certain kinds of people are always victims of specific narrowly-defined hate.  You and me, when we get attacked, we’re like, “What the hell was that all about?  I didn’t do nothin’!”  But gay people and other polished experts of the victimization culture arrive at the police station with the crime already solved.  “He attacked me because I’m gay!”

How do they always know?  What are the odds that a mugger will take the time to give his victim a concise explanation for his motives?  “Hey, dude, before I clobber you, here’s why I’m doing it, just so you know, okay?”

Quinn Matney’s attacker supposedly walked over from a nearby picnic table, said, “Here’s a taste of hell you fucking fag!” and then branded something that looks like the number 8 on Quinn’s wrist.

There was plenty that was suspicious about the mighty Quinn’s story, and it was mighty full of holes and mighty unbelievable, too.  If common sense had any presence on the University of North Carolina campus, they would have wondered how some guy sitting at a picnic table happened to have something hot enough for branding.  Does he carry some kind of portable forge?

And they might have wondered why Quinn couldn’t name the “acquaintance” he was talking to at the time, or describe the attacker with any detail, or explain how the guy knew he was gay.  Is there a neon sign over Quinn’s head that says “GAY BOY” with an arrow pointing down?

And maybe they should have wondered, if Quinn was “8,” where in the hell gay victims 1 through 7 were hiding.  Sounds like the sequel to a Brad Pitt movie, ya know?

On April 11, the UNC Chancellor announced to the campus that there was a crime committed, that they were reporting it to the federal government as a hate crime, and that he was “mindful of a recently adopted UNC system policy that deplores unlawful harassment leading to a hostile environment that is based upon personal characteristics including sexual orientation, gender, gender identity, race, color, religion, national origin, disability or veteran status.”  Yada yada.

Unfortunately for the chancellor’s politically correct posturing, while he was “deploring,” Quinn Matney was confessing.  On April 12, the university announced that he’d admitted filing a false police report.

In retrospect, maybe that wasn’t an “8” branded on his wrist.  Turn an 8 on its side and it’s the sign for infinity.  Maybe Quinn was trying to tell us something—that he’s an infinitely putrid, infinitely nasty, evil little butthead.


Sources:

4/11/11 - WRAL - Gay UNC student assaulted; officials call it a hate crime

4/11/11 - Message from the Chancellor - Police Investigate Assault Tied to Sexual Orientation

4/12/11 - Towleroad - UNC Student Severely Burned in Alleged Anti-Gay Hate Crime

4/12/11 - The Daily Tar Heel - Gay UNC student attacked, burned in hate crime

4/12/11 - NewsObserver.com - Hate crime report at UNC was false, police say

4/18/11 - Mike Adams/Townhall - A Branded Man



Posted from Reno, Nevada, USA