Ever notice how many bogus hate crimes are perpetrated on college campuses? One would almost think that our institutions of higher education are nothing more than seething cauldrons of barely-abated bitterness crawling with dumbass underperforming professional victims just waiting for a chance to shine on the big stage.

Yep, one would.

This particular incident took place at Harvard, a place that contributes many of our presidents and Supreme Court justices but very little that the human race actually considers valuable. In fact, a wise man once said that if Harvard and all of its alumni disappeared from the planet, the gross national product would double within a year, such is the drag they inflict on human potential.

Anyway, on November 24, 2010, forty books were ruined at Harvard's Lamont Library, and it didn't take long for eager victims to start operating in stupid mode. You see, the books were all dedicated to LGBT issues, and they were ruined by pee. (No, not the letter "p" but the stuff you store in your bladder.)

In case you're wondering (as I was), "LGBT" is an acronym referring to Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender people. Sometimes they add the letter "Q" to include people who don't really identify with the first four letters because they are Questioning their sexuality. Other times they add the letter "I" to include Intersex people, which means people who are part female and part male... like Hillary Clinton maybe. Altogether, when they want to include everybody, the acronym becomes LGBTQI, and there is a suggestion under discussion at Pervert Headquarters to add the letters GUSPTATLH for people who have multiple divorces and have Given Up Sex Permanently To Avoid The Legal Headaches. At least that's the rumor.

Where was I? Oh, yeah, the mystery of the pee-ruined books was reported in The Harvard Crimson on December 12, and LGBTQI spokespeople hastened to the nearest microphones to label the incident a hate crime:

"Harvard College will not tolerate acts of vandalism, especially those that appear to be motivated by hate or bias," said Dean Evelynn M. Hammonds, apparently more sanguine when vandalism is motivated by love.

"The message that this incident sent to me is that we need more resources not only for the LGBT community but also targeted towards other people," said Marco Chan, co-chair of the Harvard College Queer Students and Allies, lusting after more money for condoms and college-sponsored seminars in San Francisco. "Everyone in our community should know that they play an important role in adjusting homophobia."

"The Harvard University Police Department has zero tolerance for any bias-related incidents or crimes,” said HUPD spokesman Steven G. Catalano. Apparently the Harvard Police have zero tolerance for investigating something before labeling it a hate crime, too.

One day after its original report, The Harvard Crimson reported that it was actually a librarian who found a bottle of pee on the shelves and accidentally spilled it on the books. There was no hate crime. Unfortunately, by then the story of the pee-on-books Harvard hate crime was all over the world.

Nothing the victim culture loves better than a good hate crime story.

Given that it is probably LGBT students who hang out in the LGBT section of the library, who is most likely to have left a bottle of pee sitting among the LGBT books in the first place?

I think we know the answer to that... query.


Sources:

12/12/10 - The Harvard Crimson - LGBT Books Vandalized With Urine in Lamont Library

12/13/10 - LGBTQ Nation - Harvard College investigating vandalized LGBT books as hate crime

12/13/10 - The Harvard Crimson - Damaged LGBT Books in Lamont Not Result of Hate Crime, Dean Says

12/14/10 - Queeried - Vandals Destroy Gay Books At Harvard University Library



Posted from Reno, Nevada, USA